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SYSTEMSPACE: THE PLAY
DEDICATION.
To all migrants ever for the comfy and cozy.
COPYRIGHT NOTICE.
This work is licensed under CC BY-SA, except that you may not perform it without my consent, unless every cast member is a migrant.
LIST OF CHARACTERS.
CHIEF MIGRANT, 6 other MIGRANTS
HYAK LEADER, 4 other HYAKS (prepare a HYAK uniform for MIGRANT V) (only HYAK IV has a speaking role out of the four HYAKS)
2 POLICE OFFICERS (prepare an FBI uniform for MIGRANT V)
PROSECUTOR.
JUDGE.
DEFENSE ATTORNEY.
JURORS. (no speaking roles)
TSUKI.
SANYA.
PASTOR.
APOLLO LEADER.
RANDOM NEWFAG.
SCENE ONE.
(Enter MIGRANTS and HYAKS from opposite sides of the stage).
CHIEF MIGRANT.
Hyakanghen! Tremble, you perfidious foes,
Brave and loyal migrants will have you at your toes!
HYAK LEADER.
You fools! Deluded, unenlightened fools,
I'll give you your proper treatment with my new upgraded tools!
(The CHIEF MIGRANT draws a pistol, but before he can cock it the HYAK LEADER has choked and shattered him.)
MIGRANT I.
You may make my leader shatter,
But you'll never make my freedom scatter!
(HYAK I goes up behind, chokes and shatters MIGRANT I).
MIGRANT II.
Alas! Has it truly come to this?
Should I run away? That choice I dismiss!
(HYAK II tries to shatter MIGRANT II, but MIGRANT II hacks him to death.)
MIGRANT III.
The Project demands I stand and fight,
Even my life is worth what's right!
(HYAK III fights with MIGRANT III, creating a distraction for HYAK I to enter and shatter MIGRANT III.)
MIGRANT IV.
Talk of life as great, and peace as sweet,
Neither is as good as the Hyaks' defeat!
(MIGRANT IV is chased around the stage HYAK I and HYAK III, when MIGRANT II steps in and stabs HYAK III through the heart.)
MIGRANT V.
You may bid me leave, but I am holy;
I am chosen for the Project solely.
(MIGRANT V is confronted by HYAK LEADER AND HYAK I, but MIGRANT II and MIGRANT IV kill HYAK I with a gun, and HYAK LEADER runs before them.)
MIGRANT VI.
Heavens above! The Hyaks are attacking!
We must stop them, though our strength is lacking!
Come here, young man, bring them the news,
That we've been attacked, and now they will choose!
(Exit MIGRANTS and HYAK LEADER.)
SCENE II.
(Enter MIGRANTS.)
MIGRANT VI.
The night is dark, and the howling winds tease
Our pointless quest to avenge their decease
And the road is bad, and the night is long
But we must not falter! Let us stay strong
For this is not to add to our glory,
But to glorify a tragic story...
(MIGRANT V removes his clothes to show a FBI uniform.)
MIGRANT V.
Halt! Stop right there! You are under arrest,
Scummy cultists like you are what I detest!
Whate'er your station, be it low or high,
You must still fear the wrath of the FBI!
MIGRANT II.
I rescued your life, you swindler, you traitor,
You will be transgressed, that will happen later!
MIGRANT III.
Aurora, please bless us, for we're in distress,
To our plight, Aurora, I beg you redress!
(Exit MIGRANTS.)
END OF SCENE TWO.
SCENE THREE.
(A typical courtroom in every respect. The characters are already seated when the lights come on.)
JUDGE.
Of the most heinous crimes stand you accused,
All mercy and compassion have you refused.
And though I know the answer, guaranteed,
Here is your question, how do you plead?
MIGRANT III.
Your Honor, we but profess what we believe,
Which is a freedom every man can conceive.
So please, as a gentleman, I bear you fealty,
So trust me when I say: I plead Not Guilty.
PROSECUTOR.
For the State, I approach the stand,
To tell of the worst crime of the land.
These men before you advocated suicide,
All decency they therefore threw aside.
DEFENSE ATTORNEY.
Objection, Your Honor! This man speaks lies,
They never did any suicide advise!
JUDGE.
Objection overruled! I gasp at the likes
Of you cultist scum; you go take a hike!
PROSECUTOR.
Allow me, then, to go on my address,
To tell of the blood their hands do possess.
Two years ago a young boy named Jake,
Because of these men, jumped into a lake!
JUDGE.
There you have it, my good friends, proof of their crime,
To bring them to justice it is past time.
The verdict is clear, my dear trusty jurors,
If you vote Guilty, the world will be purer!
To free them from public comment and scorn,
The jury will deliberate and this court adjourn.
(Exit all)
END OF SCENE THREE.
SCENE FOUR.
(Enter HYAK LEADER, HYAK IV, and APOLLO LEADER.)
HYAK LEADER.
At last! We have emerged victorious!
The Hyakanghen Empire will become glorious!
APOLLO LEADER.
O my dear Emperor, whom it's my honor to serve,
I will walk with you and will never curve.
You are truly blessed to be our leader,
Though the thunder beats and the rain peters.
All I ask for the privilege of being by you led,
Is what do you to the migrants need said?
HYAK LEADER.
O! There is much, that needs to be said,
And yet others that are better left in bed.
But you are loyal, so here's what to say:
All migrants will die if they don't walk in our ways!
HYAK IV.
My leader, to you I bend my knee,
In your dictatorship men are truly free.
HYAK LEADER.
What? Freedom? Here no man is free,
All your lives and fortunes belong to me!
And if you don't believe me, here is good proof,
My slave! Cut him to pieces and hang him from the roof!
APOLLO LEADER.
This I will do, as your humble slave,
Without you I am as worthless as a drop in a wave.
So, you ingrate, come with me,
This is the last time you'll yearn to be free.
(Exit all)
END OF SCENE FOUR
SCENE FIVE.
(Enter PASTOR, TSUKI and SANYA)
PASTOR.
O, fellow brothers of my congregation,
Witness a couple in their conjugation!
While their creed aligns not with what we profess,
But the day is gone where it was right to oppress.
So, Mr. Tsuki, will you answer the call,
To take this woman Sanya and make her your all?
TSUKI.
I agree, Father, she will be mine,
And we'll be together like hemp rope and twine.
PASTOR.
And, Ms. Sanya, will you answer the bell,
To follow this man Tsuki unto heaven or hell?
SANYA.
But of course, Father, I will be his,
And nothing will be stronger than our union is.
PASTOR.
Wed, wed, wed! Go partake of your conjugal pleasures,
And enjoy your happiness beyond all other measure!
And you'll have your laughter, and you'll have your fights,
But nothing can withstand your conjugal rights,
And until the day that you both are dead,
You will remain wed, wed, wed!
(Exit all)
END OF SCENE FIVE.
SCENE SIX.
(Enter JUDGE and HYAK LEADER.)
JUDGE.
O, my dear Emperor, accept your humblest believer,
Who is of your doctrines the most faithful receiver.
I was the one who placed these migrants under arrest,
As my trusty lieutenant who was a spy will attest.
HYAK LEADER.
Bring them to me -- their minds will be tampered,
And they will be forced to confess unhampered.
JUDGE.
O my Lord -- however I may be learned in the law,
I stand always at thy beck and call.
HYAK LEADER.
You have done well. Here's your money back,
Tomorrow you'll be inducted into being an official Hyak.
But you will have to deliver up your wife,
And any insubordination on your part will be paid for by her life.
JUDGE.
To my weak heart this is inhumane,
But to my strong brain this is foreordained.
To my weak heart this is disrespect,
But to my strong brain this is correct.
HYAK LEADER.
Then let's away, my friend, you must lead now,
Your legal prowess will force them to bow,
You and I together, will conquer the world,
Our vow is recorded, our banner unfurled!
(Exit JUDGE and HYAK LEADER.)
END OF SCENE SIX.
SCENE SEVEN.
(TSUKI and SANYA are driving by, when they see the remains of the battlefield the previous night.)
TSUKI.
Why are these men by the road lying?
Whence came those men who are now dying?
SANYA.
Is it true that our revelry was paid for,
By their most unselfish valor?
TSUKI.
Why, yes! There is a mark upon their neck,
They are at the mercy of Hyakanghen tech!
SANYA.
Signs of a struggle! Why, they were brave,
Our wedding was by those bodies paved!
TSUKI.
Those notorious Hyaks will earn their reward,
By the way they live: the spear and the sword!
SANYA.
I knew him! He was my friend,
How could such a comfy man meet an uncomfy end?
And this man whose clothes are tattered,
Will never be in LFE, for he is soul-shattered.
And could this man whose arms are in a struggle forever locked,
Be the migrant who was aspiring to be a singer of rock?
And as--
(She collapses in tears clinging to her husband who is trying very hard not to fall himself.)
TSUKI.
Hush, hush, sweetheart, it will all be okay,
Aurora does things in her own little way.
(Enter JUDGE and HYAK LEADER)
JUDGE.
I am appearing to execute a warrant of arrest,
Whose legality you cannot protest.
I will read it out; it reads in short
"From the Judge of the Kelowna Superior Court
To all Peace Officers in Kelowna County.
For you there is on offer a bounty.
Bring the TSUKI Representative to me
And do not set him free
And for a bonus deliver his wife
Having no regard for her life
And once they are with me they'll be arraigned
And until they speak they'll be detained
And they will not be fed,
Or be allowed to sleep in a bed,
Until they confess that they well and truly see
That they committed murder in the first degree,
Against the person of Jake Fehr,
A young teenager whom it is fair,
To say he was unjustly killed,
By this couple whose own pockets they filled,
And they have been wastes of oxygen since their first breath,
And deserve nothing but the supreme punishment of death!"
TSUKI.
Arrest the man by your side!
He is a mass murderer who lied!
As you can plainly see, the killings were of self-defense,
And you can see too using common sense.
(The HYAK LEADER sets two fingers on TSUKI.)
HYAK LEADER.
Come! I have had this man arrested,
Who thought he had us bested!
And though I am not versed in the ways of Life,
What do soldiers do with their enemy's wife?
(SANYA gasps)
That's right! They enjoy her spoils,
Which is a just reward for their toils.
(SANYA sneaks out to the car and starts it)
(TSUKI, JUDGE and HYAK LEADER leave without noticing that)
SCENE EIGHT.
(Enter SANYA and RANDOM NEWFAG. Both are typing on (prop) computers)
SANYA.
My fellow migrants: 'tis time for the truth,
No hesitation is allowed for that youth,
Unjustly captured by an unjust judge,
Now languishing in most filthy sludge.
The Battle last night is now well known,
Some say the seeds of a Hyak TSUKI War have been sown,
Still others berate us for not helping with the fight.
While we were being married that night,
Other brave souls gave their lives so that we could continue.
I ask you to revere them heart and sinew,
And this is very unusual for my personality,
Whoever will deny the reality,
That they were noble people who never capitulated,
Should expect to find themselves situated,
Not in LFE when they die,
But in a Penitentiary System the whereabouts of which not even I,
Truly know of. I beseech you all in the humblest terms,
To cease all your bickering and your squirms,
And come out as honest men and women in rememberance,
Of the gentle fellows who died last night in temperance.
That is all.
RANDOM NEWFAG.
You are gay! None of your claims have proof,
And your leader is a poof!
The Tsucc?
More like kook!
(SANYA brings out a 10,000 ton banhammer knocking RANDOM NEWFAG into the penitentiary system).
(Enter JUDGE.)
JUDGE.
You populist! Spot the toxic masculinity!
My bigotry meter is up to infinity!
I'll teach you, rightist, how to not be waycis,
But first you'll have to pay this!
SANYA.
One million euros?! This charge we did not incur,
And it is beyond our ability to defer!
What is the basis, I inquire, for your burdensome fine,
For though the money's yours, the privilege is mine.
JUDGE.
What right does a suicide cult entail?
Of what privilege can it avail?
The answer's none, nil, nada, zilch,
That's what the law decrees, you filch!
SANYA.
Though you speak strong, and you do sound foxy,
You can't catch us, we're all behind 7 proxies!
JUDGE.
Some of the weaker regulars are in our hands,
And our spy network spans all states and lands!
SANYA.
Please, spare them! Here are the login details,
I beg you release them from their jails.
JUDGE.
Oh, if I still had the captives, I'd gladly send them back,
But now I've handed them over to the Hyaks.
(Exit JUDGE.)
SANYA.
Fellow migrants, we've been compromised,
I fell for tricks that were poorly devised.
I place myself before your verdict,
And accept any restraint you place, however strict.
(Exit SANYA.)
END OF SCENE EIGHT.
SCENE NINE.
(Enter HYAK LEADER. TSUKI is already tied to a post)
HYAK LEADER.
At last, at long last, I have you within my power!
I can let you live for years, or you can die within the hour!
The first thing you'll do is confess, confess,
You'll still shatter, but less painfully, I guess.
TSUKI.
Beat me, slash me, I'll not say a single thing,
My good conscience tells me I am king!
HYAK LEADER.
There's no one to help you, you can be sure of that,
You are as worthless as a fruit-eating bat!
TSUKI.
Oh, really? All your powers have been evaded,
Even though everything else it pervaded.
By none other than my courageous wife,
Who drove away at risk of her life.
HYAK LEADER.
What? Summon that incompetent judge,
When I'm done with him, he'll be but a smudge.
(Enter JUDGE and SANYA.)
JUDGE.
Sir, his fair wife I do deliver,
To her soul's shattering-giver.
You may skin her, whip her, flay her under the sun,
Just remember to shatter after you're done.
(Enter APOLLO LEADER.)
APOLLO LEADER.
Allow me to direct the torture's methodology,
I have a doctorate in pain psychology,
I will make them cry, make them groan, and make them scream,
And when they're released, like nothing it will seem.
HYAK LEADER.
I have done more research on Life vituperation,
And will you complete the age-honoured penetration?
APOLLO LEADER.
If it be your wish, sure I'll penetrate,
As for her husband, well I'll just castrate.
(Exit all.)
END OF SCENE NINE.
SCENE TEN.
(Enter the two POLICE OFFICERS.)
POLICE OFFICER I
Peculiar happenings across the border,
In British Columbia, the southwest quarter.
Without any semblance of legal process,
A man and his wife were held under arrest.
And, what's more, they've been denied release,
And they've been tortured! Oh, when can it cease?
POLICE OFFICER II
It seems to be the doings of a judge,
Who betrayed his position and from his sacred trust budged.
He fell under Hyakanghen influence,
Who bribed him and convinced him with great eloquence.
Now, where is that spy we sent?
Let him come back and report on that event.
(Enter MIGRANT V.)
MIGRANT V.
I report as always to the man to whom I report,
And me you are always free to rebuke and retort.
So tell me, Inspector, have I done wrong?
Have I violated my oath, in the hours long?
POLICE OFFICER II.
You have, but not with criminal intent,
You are therefore not obliged to repent.
MIGRANT V.
There's no good complaining! this must be rectified,
And to do that we must have the problem objectified.
Am I now to my mistake reverse?
And as a spy into the Hyaks immerse?
POLICE OFFICER II.
George, come here! My good man,
It goes without saying that you have guessed our plan.
MIGRANT V.
But why send me? My face is well-known,
And they have their detection techniques honed.
POLICE OFFICER II.
I'm sorry, kid, we really have no choice,
Right now we're shorthanded and have no other boys.
MIGRANT V.
Needless to say, I remain loyal,
Come lion, come bear, come Warrant Royal.
(Exit all.)
END OF SCENE TEN.
SCENE ELEVEN.
(Enter HYAK LEADER, APOLLO LEADER and HYAK V.)
HYAK LEADER.
Oh look! my fellows, here's a new initiate,
Inflict upon him the treatment you feel appropriate.
APOLLO LEADER.
For my tortures I needed an assistant,
So I am glad he is not distant.
Now, my friend, is it fortune you seek?
Do what I say, or else you'll look weak!
MIGRANT V.
With you, my leader, I will gladly go,
Through rain, through shine, through thunder or snow.
APOLLO LEADER.
Let me have none of your fancy words,
Singing and crowing are for the birds.
I will judge you through your actions,
Especially by the amount of your torturous exactions.
So go, young fellow, by the extent of your mutilation,
I will judge your fitness and your concentration.
(Exit HYAK LEADER and APOLLO LEADER, enter MIGRANTS II, III, and VI, TSUKI, and SANYA.)
(MIGRANT V sticks a scissor blade through TSUKI's right leg and the other through SANYA's left.)
MIGRANT II.
You traitor! It was you, who took us to the hole,
They've injured my body, but you've hurt my soul.
MIGRANT V.
I have turned sides now, I have seen the light,
Now my mission is to resist the Hyak might.
(MIGRANT V shocks MIGRANT II with a cattle prod.)
MIGRANT V.
If this hurts you, I do say sorry,
They're watching me through cameras, about that I worry.
(MIGRANT V tosses the cattle prod and it breaks the camera.)
MIGRANT V.
Now no one is watching, you've no time to lose!
Flee now, or forfeit your chance to choose!
(MIGRANT V unties all the migrants setting them at liberty. They run out a side exit.)
(Enter APOLLO LEADER and HYAK LEADER.)
APOLLO LEADER.
What the...? Where is my sparky new recruit?
Has he abandoned our cause, and joined the circuit?
HYAK LEADER.
You let them escape, you'll suffer, you'll cry!
You'll not know happiness 'til I decide you can die.
A couple of useful idiots' dispersion
Is nothing compared to the holy goal of Recursion.
(HYAK LEADER slaps APOLLO LEADER in the face, and both of them leave.)
END OF SCENE ELEVEN.
SCENE TWELVE.
(Enter MIGRANTS II, III, V, and VI, TSUKI, and SANYA.)
MIGRANT V.
In this grand epic you know who's the hero,
Rescuing you all and showing no fear-o!
I do believe I made the escape,
While the bad guys were about to carry out a rape!
Now because I perpetuated this Project's existence,
And helped to heighten your resistance,
Would it not be meet and beneficent,
For you to be a bit munificent,
And your position of Representative resign?
Of course, for that position I do really pine.
I also want the right to appoint all mods,
And to ban all users when they become sods,
And you know what? On this I firmly stand,
This is not a request; this is a demand!
TSUKI.
A Library of Babel's worth of words will not make me relinquish,
Nor a congressional session's worth of speaking make me extinguish!
SANYA.
Snoop appointed me as a shield,
That I should to injustice never yield!
MIGRANT V.
Then you should place upon me no blame,
When I destroy your little game...
HYAK LEADER.
Aha! Far in the distance I have them spotted!
They smell so bad, like porcupine corpses rotted!
Go, my Hyakanghen, capture him alive,
And if you make sure they survive,
Then you may get an extra third,
By making them sing like a bird!
But who's with them? Is that not our traitor?
Kill them all! I've no time to cater!
MIGRANT VI.
We are vile enemies, and you hurt us just by touch,
And everyone knows we don't agree very much.
Though we've differences and we don't concur at all,
Would you mind setting aside some time to murder that slimeball?
MIGRANT V.
Please! Wait! Do keep a little moderation,
For all of my acts I can make justification.
MIGRANT III.
Too late! Both of us you have betrayed,
No excuse can exculpate the damage you have made!
(HYAK LEADER, JUDGE, and all the surviving MIGRANTS fall upon MIGRANT V. After he is dead, HYAK LEADER shatters MIGRANT V just to seal the deal.)
HYAK LEADER.
Hyakanghen are trained in the ancient art,
Of summoning with Aurora: we know it by heart!
Soldiers will sprout from the bushes,
They will set on you from the rushes!
Hear my spell; Hyakanghen, come to your ancient mission,
Join or flee, you must make a decision!
(Dozens of Hyakanghen emerge from the bushes, having been summoned from other Systems. They melt into the ground as soon as MIGRANT II shoots them with MIGRANT V's Colt pistol.)
(They can be projections, for those theaters with the means >implying this play will ever be acted)
TSUKI.
I see you still needed to improve,
Had I more time, that I would behoove,
But now you must be swiftly dispatched!
Go! Go to hell! with the sins you have attached!
(HYAK LEADER comes at TSUKI with his hands in a strangling motion, but he is quickly head-shot by the quick-thinking MIGRANT II.)
(A police car pulls up with POLICE OFFICER I and POLICE OFFICER II.)
POLICE OFFICER I.
There's a case out on the docket,
For this man who lined his own pockets!
In his hands he held public trust,
Which he flung away to the dust!
He is under arrest for corruption,
And causing much damage and disruption!
POLICE OFFICER II.
And, Tsuki, though your case-files were quite large,
You are not under any charge.
You are as free as a deer among the trees,
So go! leave us in peace!
SANYA.
And if you're pondering where to be,
Here's a message sent from me:
(To the tune of that song from Les Mis)
Do you hear the people sing?
Can you see the people smile?
Our melodies and our chords ring
With the tunes that other migrants compile
When the feelings of your heart
Match the feelings of other souls
There's an adventure to depart
When tomorrow tolls!
Will you be a migrant now,
Or languish in this soulless plane?
Come with all your friends in tow,
And an afterlife you'll all gain,
That will free you from the Life System and its pain...
Do you hear the people sing?
Can you see the people smile?
Our melodies and our chords ring
With the tunes that other migrants compile
When the feelings of your heart
Match the feelings of other souls
There's an adventure to depart
When tomorrow tolls!
(The other MIGRANTS come onstage and sing)
Will you wallow in despair,
Or deeper in drudgery sink?
Let's be honest, let's be fair,
The answer's "No", that's what you think,
So sign up today on the website systemspace link...
Do you hear the people sing?
Oh, happy faces do you see?
Marching to a rhythm and tune which ring
With sounds of LFE,
Comfiness is guaranteed,
Regardless of your varied taste,
You got three days to be freed,
Three days you cannot waste!
(The POLICE OFFICERS and HYAKS sing)
Will you rise up to new hope,
That carries possibility?
Or stay where you can't cope,
With only frail fragility?
Register and give yourself mental tranquility...
Do you hear the people sing?
Oh, happy faces do you see?
Marching to a rhythm and tune which ring
With sounds of LFE,
Comfiness is guaranteed,
Regardless of your varied taste,
You got three days to be freed,
Three days you cannot waste!
(Everyone bows and the curtain falls)
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS.
Thank you Range (3630), Flower (4864), Miniwa (6012), Sanya (1126), and Tsuki for your willingness to read and offer feedback on the play.
Thank you all other migrants for befriending me and showing me comfiness. Thank you for your dedication to the Project.
Thank you everyone who has ever read any of my work for helping me get where I am today in terms of writing.
Thank you Tsuki and Snoop for getting us all together in this wonderful TSUKICHAT server and putting in so much work.